RUN AND HIDE! Lock up your fridges! Flush your smartphone
down the toilet! Smash that all-flipping, all-barking cute toy puppy to a
speedy death with a sledge hammer. For they shall be taken. And unless you’re
Liam Neeson’s daughter, ain’t no one gonna save ‘em.
Because kids clearly don’t have enough to do these days,
what with advancements in ADHD medication meaning supermarket tantrums don’t bring the same kicks as they used to, Facebook has developed a patent offering children of the world specialised access to the site. So although the current minimum user age is 13, there’s a chance your child needn't wait much longer to prematurely fry their brains into that zombie state traditionally reserved for teens just discovering internet porn. Hooray!
The Onion yesterday launched its new Buzzfeed parody website ClickHole - a website with content so clickable and sharable that once you've entered its domain you are unlikely to ever come back out again.
Three days ago Google announced its most recent foray into space technologies and satellite launches: the acquisition of satellite photography company Skybox Imaging. Skybox were acquired in a cash only deal worth $500 million.